This year has been unbelievably challenging for me on so many levels. So much change around me left me feeling out of control of my own life. I had feelings of sadness watching my children grow up and even watching them get real adult-y jobs! (DenzelOnaba.com).
I had feelings of being in a very fast moving hamster wheel and feeling frustrated about the many vacations we would have been on and have had to repeatedly cancel because of Covid-19. I was just feeling worn down and tired and with not a whole lot to look forward to.
I wallowed in my misery for longer than I care to admit. I felt like a caged exotic bird.
Then, having hit what I felt was as low as I wanted to go, I saw a conversation in one of my Facebook groups and I reached out to our foster parent community for counselling services. I ended up working with a lovely Sensorimotor Psychotherapist who is helping guide me through the fog. While I have always been in support of counselling, I haven't felt compelled to use this service till now. A few close friends who are counselling recipient veterans also nudged me in this direction and I can already see the benefit.
In just a few weeks I am already putting tools into place in my life to make me feel less overwhelmed, happier and more balanced. Feeling more in control of this ship I've built means I've hired house cleaners, and a personal trainer and, I'm back at my keyboard with whimsical posts, which is also a big indication of my inner mood.
As Covid-19 restrictions eased, I found my usual enthusiasm for travel and packed up the kids and went on a road trip. When we arrived, I literally and figuratively felt myself walking through the darkness and emerging into the light. It was perhaps most fitting that I was in a community named HOPE
The Othello Tunnels are open again and before all of British Columbia realizes it, I decided to make the 2 hour trip to the boarder of our Covid restricted perimeter with the kids to see it for the first time. I was so happy we went. It felt like a rebirth.
A series of Tunnels interwoven were created as train tunnels over the raging river, in the Coquihalla Canyon Provincial Park over 100 years ago. The history and the rugged beauty drowned out the sounds of anything but their force and beauty.
The children of course, gravitated to a rock beach and explored tirelessly. It was interesting to see the place where a number of famous movies had been filmed. First Blood, Shoot to Kill, Far from Home: The Adventures of Yellow Dog, Cabin in the Woods and War for the Planet of the Apes were all filmed in Coquihalla Canyon.
None of us wanted the day to end. We could have spent many more hours enjoying Nature's therapy. It is what we all needed. Fresh air, fresh water, fresh thoughts.
On the way home we glimpsed a playground through the trees, made a sharp right and parked. I let the kids out of the car like blood hounds hot on a trail and they sprinted to play once again for just a few minutes. Long enough to know Kawkawa Lake is gorgeous.
The lake had numerous tadpoles along the edge and I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like when they all turned into frogs.
Like the tadpoles, I'm looking forward to growing and strengthening my swimming legs and revisiting the land of Hope figuratively and literally more frequently.
Find Your Hope