• Lara

What I learned While Dating Online as a Married Woman.

Updated: Oct 4, 2020

Conventionally speaking, it is taboo for married women to be dating other people. I happen to be one of few that object. Actually, I think it is imperative to a marriage to keep dating other people. Some of the most important people in my life today, are a direct result of my online dating strategies that I'm going to share with you today. The only rule I set for myself while dating is that I only date other women.


First, grab the popcorn. Skimming this post may result in me losing all my friends, and possibly my husband. But, if you read through to the end, I'm sure you'll see things my way.


First, some background.

I've moved many, many, times in my life. From the age of 12 to 28, I think I moved at least 15 times (Sometimes more than once in a year!). Then I just stopped counting. Some moves were just down the street. Once it was completely across a continent. I’ve even moved across an entire country. Some were just for a summer, some felt forever.


I'm not sure if I should be proud or horrified that I have moving down to a science. I know the exact amount and type of Ice cream to buy to comfort myself from the sadness of leaving friends (Hello Ben and Jerry's!). In the same breath, moving has been exciting because it means I get to start online dating again in my new place. Have I mentioned how much I love online dating? It is the best thing that ever happened to my marriage!


How does dating others as a married woman help my marriage?

It is simple. It spreads my weight. It is no doubt that I'm a pretty intense person. Not many people can handle the full breath of all that I bring into the world. For starters, I'm a very social person. I'm so socially inclined that when I was a child, my father had a sign in and out sheet on the fridge for me as an attempt to reign in my social-butterfly-on-steroids personality. It would be impossible for any one person to keep up with the kind of social schedule I keep.

I even exhaust myself.

So, dating, while married, provides me with the opportunity to meet and interact with other people without putting my husband in a position of exhaustion. I can't advocate this lifestyle choice enough. The list of benefits is endless.


Here are a few more benefits:

- Something and someone new to talk with my husband about

- Life changing experiences I hadn't considered before presenting themselves

-Hysterical stories of people I meet that are bat shit crazy....even more so than I am.

-A deeper appreciation for the love and friendship I have with my husband who I have been "dating" for 20 years.



When I develop relationships with people outside of my marriage, I find my village of support systems really grows. This month I have been reminded of yet another benefit.